Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
third nipple confirmed
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
