Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
