i can't believe i had my finger in that
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize