Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
