Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
