White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
