There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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