you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
