wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
