the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
