should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
