I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize