your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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