so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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