I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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