So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
