I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize