Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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