Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
