i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
