just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
