if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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