you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
