taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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