some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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