Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
These tits shall not be calmed
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
