i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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