Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize