There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
