Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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