I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
