So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Every concussion has its silver lining
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
