2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
foreskin is a definite game changer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
