why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
