He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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