Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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