I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
