Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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