I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
