Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
