my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
