once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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