We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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