you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
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The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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