She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
