You smell like stripper and shame
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
