Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The air taste purple.
Randomize
