I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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