Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
