did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
