I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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