wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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