When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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