Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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