And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
