omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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