I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
