I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
