can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
