his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
