Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
