I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
