How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
