there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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