I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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