i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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