Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
